Need a hand?

"He told me he was an engineer working on a project overseas. We talked every day for 3 months. He felt like my best friend. Then he said his equipment was seized by customs and he’d lose his job if he didn't pay the fine.

I sent him £2,000. Then he needed more for the 'shipping'. When I finally said no, he disappeared and blocked me."

In a romance scam, scammers often use a tactic called 'love bombing', where they overwhelm you with intense affection, constant messaging, and premature promises of a shared future or marriage. They can keep up this fictitious persona for multiple months to effectively draw you in.

This process is designed to lower your natural defences and create a sense of absolute trust. Once you are emotionally invested, the criminal introduces a 'manufactured crisis'. They weaponise the empathy and love you feel for them to create a sense of urgency.

They will ask for a loan, promising to pay you back the moment they return. However, the first request is rarely the last, if you pay once, new 'emergencies' arise, continuing until you are financially drained or begin to ask too many questions, at which point the scammer vanishes instantly.

• Identify the signs of 'love bombing': Be wary of someone who professes deep commitment, love, or the desire to marry you within days of meeting online. While it feels flattering, this is a calculated psychological tactic used to bypass your logic
• Moving off trusted platforms: Move slowly if they immediately ask you to switch from a dating app to a private messaging platform. This is often done to avoid detection by the app's security measures and to prevent other customers from reporting their activity
• Refusing video chat: If they refuse to video chat, offer constant excuses, or their camera quality is consistently poor, this is a major red flag. Legitimate partners will usually want to see you

• Never send money to someone you haven't met: No matter how much you care for them, how long you have been talking, or how tragic their situation sounds, never send money to an online contact. A genuine partner will never treat a new relationship as a source of capital
• Verify their identity: Perform a reverse image search on any photos they send. Scammers frequently use or manipulate images stolen from models, military personnel, or public figures
• Seek an outside perspective: Scammers thrive on isolation. They will often tell you to keep the relationship a 'secret' because 'others won't understand our love'. Break this silence by talking to a trusted friend or family member about the person